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Swag Team

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From L to R: Trey, Gamebus, Sam, Evan, Bryko, Kelvin, Abner, Francisco, Sean, Douglas, Ethan, Ryan, Noah

The Swag Team (AKA Water Comedians) is an alliance of "high quality" Miiverse users. Think Avengers, but with more swag. The ESPN Sports Connection community was their home base, but all posting there has been halted, as it has been declared The Official Robin Williams Memorial Community.

Members (Current)

Ex-Members (or inactive)

  • Alex
  • Corey
  • Heather
  • Jake
  • Sean
  • Trey
  • Xayeb
  • Sameer
  • Corey
  • Tony Asswell
  • Sam
  • Kelvin
  • Let's face it, who can keep track of this shit anymore?

Relationships

  • #SmashyClub
  • Miiverse Gang
  • Bradleynews11
  • Eddie
  • Ryan's friends

Swag Team History

Swag Team has a big history on Miiverse, from their formation to the trials to Sam's vengence.

Formation

Swag Team was originally conceived by Kelvin in a post made during mid-late May of 2014. The original lineup was Bryko, Corey, Douglas, Ethan, Evan, Francisco, Kelvin, Noah, Ryan, Sam, Sean, and Trey. They hung out in the ESPN community and played Mario Kart 8 together.

The Bradley Incident

On June 14, Big Kahuna Bryko declared That's On Miiverse creator and host Bradley A. Kragen master of the swag. Not to be out-swagged by an outsider, Swag Team members cordially invited Bradley into the fold. Hours later Bradley showed up to Swag Tower in full swag attire and smoothly asked, "did you call me?" Swaggers everywhere rejoiced having full expectations of being featured in an honorary Swagalicious "That's On Miiverse" video. Saturday came with the new ToM video lacking any interactions with the team that made BradleyNews an icon. Big Kahuna was devastated and ordered a full fledged attack on the pizza faced host.

What followed was a bloody stain in the Swag Team's history known as the Attack on Bradley. The assault began when Swag Team members yeah-bombed Bradley's post in an act of revenge. They then proceeded to simultaneously comment on his posts saying "WE ARE SWAG TEAM. WE DO NOT FORGIVE. WE DO NOT FORGET." This raid lasted about thirty minutes.

The Trial

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Cartoon drawn by Douglas featuring Bryko, Kelvin, Noah, and Sean. It showcases the growing rift between members of the Swag Team caused by The Trial.

Shortly after the Bradley Incident, Kelvin left the group for a short time. While he was gone, the Swag Team was hit with various unexplainable report bombings that wiped out half the team, permanently banning ex-swag Team member Sameer. Noah and Ryan stepped up as temporary leaders, although Noah expressed anarchist ideologies. Kelvin suddenly returned and confessed to all the bans, and in turn a trial was held. Kelvin hired fellow Swag Team member Ethan to defend him, and together they formed a plan to pin the whole thing on fellow member Gamebus. After a short trial, everyone gave up and the truth was forever lost. The true identity of the report bomber is still unknown.

The SmashyClub-Swag Team War

Hold onto your seats, boys and girls, because this chapter of the Swag Team saga blows every other chapter out of the water. It's like our version of The Godfather Part II.

The war began in late June of 2014 when Evan betrayed the Swag Team and defected to SmashyClub. He then told his newfound allies the location of the Swag Team and they proceeded to bombard their community on July 4th. Tension escalated when Noah referred to them as "Heropon's personal army of pre-pubescent asskissers." SmashyClub and Swag Team were locked in intense combat for the better half of July.

With their homeland invaded, their idea of having a Google Hangout together was kicked into action as a way to escape. They have remained there ever since.

While in the Hangout, Swag Discovered a way to infiltrate the SmashyClub private forums. This resulted in one final confrontation between the groups which ended in a much needed peace treaty thanks to the diplomatic efforts of Ryan and Gamebus. Swag Team and SmashyClub have not feuded since, but rumors of hard feelings still remain.

The Second Trial (the first of many based upon racism)

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Sam's attempt at damage control, which only backfired in the end

On August 3rd, loyal member Sam made a series of racist and anti-Semitic remarks in the Swag Central chat. This prompted an intense trial in which Ethan, Sam's lawyer, suffered an extreme meltdown. After a neck-and-neck vote, Sam was impeached thanks to the efforts of minority members Francisco and Kelvin. To this day, Sam continues to swear by his innocence in spite of damning evidence. For the first time in Swag Team history, justice had been served.

This was the first of very many impeachment trials due to racism and various other discriminative ideas that took place throughout summer 2014. Many were impeached, but most of those have come back. These impeachments were mosly carried out by Bryko and Fran, but they've calmed down by now.

Venture into Video Game Development

Late into the Summer season, Big Kahuna ventured across the lands, passing many great valleys and spoke with mini kahuna Francisco. The spoke of many things concerning the swag. They told many tales of big game, Miiverse legends, and video game development in Unity. After much talk, Swag Team made it official that they would soon create games and bestow them upon the eShop for all the miiple to gaze upon. And so it was that Swag Team would become Swag Team, maker of games.

Development of Swag Team's first game Grandma Simulator 2014 began on August 8th. Big Kahuna, lead developer, announced the title on Miiverse and shortly followed up with a series of Developer Diaries chronicling the development process. Grandma Simulator 2014 was canned August 8th, only 4 hours after development had started due to budget restraints and creative differences. Swag Team's second studio began development on a yet to be revealed title the same day.

After Grandma Simulator 2014 was cancelled, Swag Team's head studio started a smaller project starring Miiverse Celebrity Jerry Atrik. The game, tentatively titled Flappy Jerry or Jerry's Journey had high hopes, as almost everyone on the team got involved in one way or another, with Bryko developing it directly, Kelvin supplying voice acting, Ethan being the head of PR, and Ryan, Noah and Douglas working in music.

Shortly after Jerry's Journey's announcement, the newly-formed Swag Team Games was caught under fire when Blok Drop U developer Mike announced his own Wii U Flappy Bird clone, Spikey Walls. The game featured inferior graphics to Jerry's Journey, but identical mechanics. Upon announcement, Mike faced a huge backlash from both the Miiverse community and Swag Team. In response, Mike report-bombed Swag Team and talked trash about them on Twitter. Unfortunately, Ethan (who was appointed as the Swag Team Games PR guy) aggressively fought back on Twitter, calling Mike a "monkey fuck." After this incident, Ethan was removed from his PR position and the studio was forced to rebrand to an unannounced name. Development continued stopped because Bryko got lazy and the excitement died down.

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Damn liberals not letting me express my hatred of Mexicans

The Wrath of Sam

At midnight on August 13, 2014, impeached member Sam had a tantrum and announced that he would be leaving the "overly-liberal" Swag Team, even though he'd already been impeached. He has appeared occasionally since and is in a state of semi-impeachment.

Goodbye, Kelvin

On Thursday, September 18, Kelvin was impeached because [DATA EXPUNGED]. Each member was planning to vote in favour favor of his impeachment, but Kelvin left all the hangouts before such a vote could occur.

SERIOUS SWAG TEAM DEBATE

The Swag Team may look close as a group....but we aren't without or differences. A majority of us stand on opposite sides of the political spectrum. A simple comment caused a giant explosion of arguing. Ethan was typing in caps... Bryko lost his cool... Douglas even cried. The arguing continued on for hours... and hours... it was serious. It finally ended... once more important matters had to be settled.

New members and horrible secrets revealed

Bryko's brother Peter joined the team, and was welcomed with open arms. In this time of happiness after welcoming our new member... something happened...something serious. Jake, a founding member, said various hateful and homophobic remarks. Righteous fury from Bryko reigned on him...and Bryko immediately removed him. We had gained a new member... but lost one at the same time. The Swag Team began to wonder what secrets they were all hiding from each other...

The Bard joined the team about a week later, right before he got console banned. He is currently the only person that gives us a name.

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Gamebus's tragic downfall

Soon after, yet another shocking incident took place: Gamebus was exposed as a transphobe! After a series of idiotic and ignorant comments, Gamebus was impeached from the team. What horrible secrets will be revealed next?!?! Tune in next week.

Also, Peter was admitted to the hospital for eating a product with peanuts in it.

Gamebus was later rehabilitated and is no longer transphobic scum.

Ethan's Meltdown 2014

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Ethan threatening Reggie.

Revenge is a serious thing, especially when you are doing it for no reason. Fueled by a desire to cause chaos and destruction, Ethan decided he was going to rope Ex-Members Sam and Jake into a ridiculous scheme to make them both look bad (Thanks to a idea from Noah) and decided he would rope the entire team into his scheme. After managing to get Bryko to assist him, Ethan faked his own impeachment and formed a partnership with Jake (Sam refused to help). Ethan and Jake conspired for a day, with Ethan having thought up a plan to frame everything on Jake and make him look bad. Everything fell apart soon after it began....as Bryko snitched. Ethan's plan fell apart as Jake began cussing him out for his betrayal. Jake then dropped a major bomb on Ethan....he would delete the account he had made for Ethan. Ethan was alone, and surrounded only by the voices in his head and his knife collection. Ethan, in what can be said only as a serious of insane rants by a ambien filled madman, went crazy on Miiverse. This was all an attempt to get the account banned and Jake console banned. After a grueling 20 minutes of shitposting, Ethan's tale of manipulation and insanity came to a tragic end, as he was suddenly banned before he could get out his final post. Condolences were sent to the team members of this madman, unaware of what he had actually done.

Sam's Revival

Some time in late 2014, Sam joined the team again and apologized for what he had did, the rest of team apologized to him as well. Sam was then let back in because of this. Everything had come full cycle, and everyone was getting along again. Except for some guy named Thomas Lane, whom Sam had pissed off.

The Return

Just about the entire team is back on Miiverse at this point. Around April, Bard bought another Wii U, giving accounts for himself, Bryko, and Ethan. Ryan rejoined Miiverse after his long hiatus. Bryko then bought his own Wii U on June 1st due to interest in Splatoon.

The Ten Commandments

1. Thou shalt respect ironic satire.

2. Thou shalt troll with grace and wit.

3. Thou shalt not take ESPN Sports Connection in vain.

4. Thou shalt not use Lord Abner's name in vain.

5. Thou shalt not worship Bernd+.

6. Thou shalt not be a brony.

7. Thou shalt not be a fanboy.

8. Thou shalt respect other team members.

9. Thou shalt not block, except for yeah-bombers.

10. This commandment is a work in progress

Everyone forgot these existed.

Swag Team Profiles

Bryko (BrykoLikesSony) Bryko is the fun loving, light-hearted co-founder of the Swag Team. An Icon that forgot himself into immorality, Bryko is responsible for Miiverse legends such as Jerry Atrik and the #FreeMiiverse campaign. When he is not hard at work on his latest Steven Universe fanfics, he can be found spreading the message of Robin Williams in the Smash Bros. Community (Aggressively). His mii avatar is a symbol of the hardships delivered upon him by the Miiverse Administration. Rumor has it that when one enters the ESPN Sports Connection community and whispers "clever boy" three times they will hear rumblings in the wind detailing his struggle to the top of The Miiverse Game.

Douglas (REGULARYOSHIN64) Douglas is the Swag Team member with the most handwritten posts, and was named Minister of Swaggy Propaganda. He is known for hating the abominations known as Arzest and Yoshi's New Island and is the man behind OUYA News. He also won Jordan's IQ Test fan art contest and co-founded Operation West Bound with Swag Team member Francisco, a movement to bring The Mysterious Murasame Castle off of the 3DS and onto the Wii U. Perhaps his most iconic Miiverse moment was supposedly causing the Comic Workshop community to disable screenshots by posting a picture of his cat with her favorite game, Shrek Smash n' Crash Racing. Douglas is also a huge musician, and if you diss polka music, he will find you.
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Exposed

Francisco (PKThunder) Francisco is the Swag Team Joker. He is considered the least trustworthy person on the team, repeatedly lying about his identity, location, and interests. He has a penchant for getting caught in secret schemes to stir up trouble in Swag Team, but will deem any evidence against him as "photoshopped". Despite his love for mischief, Francisco rarely trolls on Miiverse, instead mostly using the website for its intended purpose. It is rumored that he may be hiding a dark secret.

Noah (MonokromiReturns) Noah is the Swag Team Token Canadian. He is also Swag Team's resident JRPG expert. On August 27th 2014, it was revealed Noah is secretly Chad Kroeger, the legendary frontman and rhythm guitarist of hit Canadian band Nickelback.

Ryan (Link24c) Ryan is one of the more less notable members of Swag Team. His only notable aspects are that he's an OG member and this: https://youtu.be/3WqTPu0t-oo?t=52s. He's the best Super Smash Bros. for Wii U player on the team and second to Francisco in Melee. He has resembling looks of mew2king. One of Ryan's friends. Andrew, has been added to various chats in which he makes everyone very anally anguished.

Peter (NeonTiger64) Peter is the Swag Team angel. Born from the same womb as Bryko, Peter is a quirky young fellow with a knack for being quirky and innocent. He has IBS, a lung condition, and is severely allergic to peanuts -- quirky, eh? Despite his young age, Peter has no problem getting involved in hot-button swag debates involving racism, homophobia, and Mormonism. Did we mention he's quirky? On October 26, 2014, it was revealed that Peter is actually Francisco's 28-year-old uncle.

Bard (The_Bard_REBIRTH) Bard is the Swag Team veteran. Bard has seen some shit, having been banned approximately 40 times on Miiverse. After Bard joined the team, he ragequit from Miiverse. However, he has now returned to Miiverse.

Gamebus (namebusisGamebus) Gamebus is the Swag Team super conservative. He was once impeached for a heinous act, but returned to the group for mysterious purposes. Despite the running gag that he's conservative, Gamebus is one of the more liberal members of the team, a constant defender of Anita Sarkeesian and feminist principles. He is a symbol of peace between Smashy and Swag as the only person to currently be part of both groups.

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Ethan (Console_Sammed) Ethan is the Swag Team wild-card. He's the source of a good majority of the Swag team in-memes and is constantly ridiculed by his teammates by his violent outbursts, Sundrop addiction, and love of the CW's "The Flash". He's also on his way to getting a Associate's Degree in Arts at the moment.

Miiverse Clans/Groups
6/24 Update RebellionA.R.R.O.WConfederation of FreeMiiverseDragmaEggverse EmpireFreegeGale Of DarknessLeague of Mini-ModsMiiverse Liberation ArmyN.O.S.ENew CISPlayStation NationROSSupreme Dred ArmySwag TeamTeam PlasmaTeam TrioThe First OrderThe Wither KlanUnited Miis

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