Shitty Movie Saturdays (commonly abbreviated as SMS) is an event that toke place every Saturday (starting on Sunday October 26, 2014 and returning on Saturday August 22, 2015).SMS is when people of this wiki came to a certain site (varies sometimes, it's been Instasync, watch2gether, and currently CyTube) and watch horrible movies, discussing them while watching in the chat. They welcome users to come watch and discuss with them obviously. The room where these used to be held is here.
Origins of SMS
Shitty Movie Saturdays began when Mr.LuigiDude said in the chat that he was watching The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl. CaliburTek joined the discussion of the movie and they mess around talking about the movie. Soon the chat perked up a bit and Royalheap and Hat joined the discussion (Dr. Fakeman somewhat). After the movie and credits ended, they decided to form an event for this named "Shitty Movie Sundays" (changed because fuck Mondays) and thus, Shitty Movie Saturdays was born.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #2 - Foodfight! Overview
This was the very first SMS when everyone watched together (over on watch2gether). It was EXTREMELY chaotic as well. First tentions grew really high when everyone kept changing the video because the room wasn't locked. But about an hour in Fakeman saved the day by creating a new host locked room where everyone enjoyed the shittiness thoroughly for 30 minutes. Afterwards Dr.Fakeman, Sakurai's Cat, and Mr.LuigiDude watched JonTron review Foodfight!.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #3 - The Hannah Montana Movie and Birdemic Overview
This SMS began on Instasynch after a majority vote tied between The Hannah Montana Movie and Birdemic. The first movie shown was Hannah Montana, but it did not include the music because of copyright issues. This prompted some to wait out the movie.
After Hannah Montana, the group moved back to watch2gether to watch Birdemic. Unfortunately, the only full videos of Birdemic that could be found included reaction commentary. Some muted the video because of this. Most of the comments were about the in-the-minute happenings of the movie, and, of course, the appearances of the commentators. After the movie the group left for LMR Chat.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #4 (Wild Card Week) - Shrek The Third Overview
This was the first SMS that the members watched the movie completely on Instasynch without moving for a different movie. Some thought that Shrek The Third was not a bad movie, or had watched it too much, so most left. There were few people around for the movie, but those who were watching constantly posted quotes from the movie and made-up phrases. Most of these phrases were things like "FUCKING BLONDE", "GET ON THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIP YOU SHIT", etc. By the end of the movie there were under 5 people in the Instasynch chat.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #5 - The Super Mario Brothers Movie and The Super Mario Bros. Anime (English Dub) Overview
Within the first SMS in months, the group bounced back with The Mario Bros. Movie on August 22nd. This SMS followed in the previous' footsteps, streaming through Instasynch. The chat normally quoted the movie, such as Koopa's "You look like Hell." line, Mario's classics "Are we dead yet?" and "COM'ON LUIGI!", and, who could forget, Toad's song! Many attended throughout the entire movie, and some even stayed for the extra showing of the Super Mario Bros. Anime (English Dub), which was requested by Wa$aKing14. The anime was regarded as laughable, from the soundtrack replaying over and over, to the terrible voice acting (especially Princess Peach), and even the character's personalities (specifically Luigi). After the movies had finished, some stayed for watching more videos while others went back to LMR Chat.
Note that The Super Mario Bros. Anime was a fan dub and not official by Nintendo. Which was the reason for the poor voice acting.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #6 - High School Musical 2 Overview
This SMS was again hosted on Instasynch by Mr. LuigiDude. Initially, the gang was supposed to watch the first High School Musical, but all of the videos of the movie were on cheap teases for people to shove their site link into. So after searching through hundreds of videos, all LuigiDude had to show for was High School Musical 2. So they made the best of it and watched that. Yeah. Anyway, about an hour before the movie began, nearly 20 members of SMS gathered to watch Michael Rosen YTPs on Instasynch as sort of "commercials" preceding the movie. During the movie, members mocked the movie for its untimely use of the songs and the abysmal quality of such songs, as well as the plainness of most of the character's personalities (such as the "Stereotypical Black Guy"), it's awkward scenes, and the terrible green screens and backdrops. Users also were angry with the lack of sex scenes in the movie and the overused ways out of a kissing scene that the movie used. Radmin was at his dad's house at the time. He made it through 30 minutes of the movie until his grandma bursted in and felt the need to check chat. He had to leave after that for obvious reasons.
After the movie, around 10 people stayed for random video watching, while others filtered out to LMR Chat or to other places. These videos were mostly YTPs. Some were distraught with LuigiDude because of his unwillingness to unlock the Instasynch playlist. This prompted those users to join MetalSanic's room instead. Nothing much really happened other than that.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #7 - Birdemic 2 Overview
This one has a long story. You see, Baby Geniuses had won the poll for watching movies on the Saturday of September 9th in that spooky 2015 evening. But Mr. LuigiDude couldn't find a free YouTube or Dailymotion video for the full movie after a few hours of searching. So he decided he would look for the second place finisher, Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer. He found a "full movie" at around 8:05, which was after the scheduled movie start time. But it turned out that this Judy Moody "full movie" was just a preview and that LuigiDude had to pay $3 for everyone to watch it. He temporarily decided to cancel SMS and let everyone go back to random video adding momentarily to think up something.
Then, Metal had the idea to watch Birdemic 2, as it was another one of the more popular poll choices. LuigiDude gave it a shot and went searching. He nearly immediately found a free Birdemic 2 video and popped it into the Instasynch playlist. The movie began at around 9:00 PM, and some didn't know what the hell was going on. During this time there were roughly 25 - 30 people in LuigiDude's Instasynch room, so the place was understandably chaotic when the opening credits started. To begin, the movie's nearly 5 minute opening credits walking scene centered around our odd main character guy we know absolutely nothing about caught the group off guard. Some called this part "Worse than the opening for the first one.", along with stating that the "Guy holding the camera is having struggles.", etc. Recycled shots was another laughable portion of the movie, as shots would be reused multiple times in a short period. For example, the bar that the main character walks into has the camera man hold on to a shot of its sign for far, far, FAR too long. The watchers also were amused by the pathetic sound quality and repetitive music, specifically after something that has nothing remotely to do with the plot that is great happens to the characters. Like when our ever so beloved main character guy gets his movie funded by two weird old guys for a million dollars and the high fives go around.... Awkwardly. And the main character's smile is not serial killer-esque in the slightest. Yeah.
The CGI of the movie was horrible. The group had gone insane after a "jellyfish" (and that term was used lightly) had "stung" our very important 3rd or 4th or whatever blonde girl character, and everyone thought that the scene after that one was just as abysmal. The "blood" all over the blonde girl was violet and obviously marker or something of that sort. The green screens that were used frequently in the movie also prompted some "this is shit"-esque comments from the majority, as it was painfully obvious that the green screen was there, even to the point where the background was from an entirely different city, rather than Hollywood (forgot to mention this trash was "set" in Hollywood but it doesn't really matter).
Most thought that the highlight of the movie was the topless scene that somehow slipped past YouTube censors. Or maybe YouTube just didn't care enough about this movie to take it down. Most likely the latter. Anyways, this part of the movie was hyped by most of the watchers and chaos struck when it finally happened. During the minutes before the topless scene, many spammed "46:10" as this was the timemark where the topless scene began. Messages from the time this scene were streamed were things like "STABBED IN THE TITS!" and "oh shit shes dead". Some people even spammed the fapping emote. Some time after that cavemen and zombies debuted in the movie and things really just got too random to really document. Except for Will the Asian Guy's famous "We have guns." line, along with Tree Hugger from the First Movie's appearance, which striked hilarity from the chat.
After the main event, almost everyone stayed for the "after party". Most of the videos played were John Cena parodies, anime parodies, MLG videos, YouTube Poops, and the like. The chat died down after a while and eventually everybody either went back to LMR or went to sleep.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #8 - The Room Overview
This SMS was an interesting one to say the least. In this SMS, the watchers viewed The Room, a movie that Tommy Wiseau directed, produced, created, and starred in. LuigiDude surprisingly had a relatively easy time finding the full movie on YouTube, though others didn't have the same experience.
When the movie began, the chat immediately pointed out the fact that Tommy Wiseau did practically everything in the movie. And that the movie's opening credits were bland. Boring. Horrendous. The movie's first scene was a confusing blur, featuring Johnny (played by, again, Tommy Wiseau) getting tickled up by his bitch of a wife when this Denny kid walks in and says very suggestive things which made Johnny respond in a calm matter, then Johnny and his wife just have intercourse. Not even censored. The group proceeded to ask if the movie was a porno, or if it was just the entire movie. Then another sex scene happened and people went apeshit again.
Then Johnny's bitch wife decides it would be cool to start hitting on other men. Yep, pretty neat. Anyway, let's just skip 50 minutes later because the movie is that pointless. Plot developments happened and then soon enough Johnny was in his tuxedo getting ready for his...football game (or whatever it was). They throw the ball around like pansies in their tuxedos and look like fools, which makes the chat go insane with football quotes. After that filler scene there's a spooky fight scene at the wedding or whatever. Johnny speaks some very memorable quotes during this that the chat glorifies, like "DON'T TOUCH ME MOTHAFUCKER!" and "YHEW BEEECCHH", along with "YOU BASTARRRRRRRRRRDDD!!!", among others.
After that some stuff happens and Johnny's bitch wife calls Mark. The affair guy? Did we not mention that before? Well this movie is just that pointless and boring. Well, Mark tells her "I want your body", and bitch wife says "Don't mind Johnny he's just being a big baby". She has Johnny listen to the call and Johnny goes absolutely insane, yelling quotable sayings such as "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and proceeding to scream "YEW BITCH". The chat constantly quoted these for a while.
The movie abruptly cut off, causing the chat to go into an uproar until LuigiDude found the actual ending. The ending featured a montge of events in the movie, with a hilarious MS Paint censored sign during the porno scene. The ending capped off with Johnny shooting himself in the mouth, occuring bitch wife and Mark to follow the sound to Johnny's room. They find his body, and bitch wife confesses to being the cause. She says that "Now we can finally be together!", and Mark replies with "GET OUT OF MY LIFE BITCH". Bitch wife begins crying when Denny walks into the room. He screams "JOHNNY WAKE UP! WAKE UP!", which striked a string of "WAKE UP!" messages from the chat. Johnny's forehead is kissed, which the chat responds with "GAY!" messages.
After the movie, most went back to LMR chat or to bed or wherever, while around 10 stayed for the after party of random movies as usual. The genre of video varied from YouTube Poop to basketball skits to DeviantArt ratings to even Coldsteel the Hedgeheg.
Something notable was Radmin's reaction to this movie. It varied from "MARK AND LISSA BITCHES IN TIME" to "I'M ACTUALLY CRYING HELP". Michael (Weegee) also repeated the quote "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISSA!!" alot.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #9 - Ratatoing Overview
SMS started like usual, everyone joined the wild ride, watching YTP's, Sailor Moon, A moon Mascot from McDonald's rapping about killing n***ers, and the Reggie Fils Aime Anime. When the movie began, people were already skipping the movie, everyone was asking if Vinny from Vinesauce was doing the Narration and complaining about the animation. When a mouse from the movie mentioned "No No No No No.", everyone began to repeat that line. Soon many ended up acting like feminists when someone noticted that the girl rats have tits and that the rats wear no clothes. Whenever AstroHamsta sees something wrong with the movie, he spoofs line from the movie "Everyone knows this is a great resturant." and makes it "EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THIS IS A GREAT MOVIE." Soon Mr. LuigiDude posted multiple Strawpolls such as "Our ice cream is always fresh!", "What do you put in your dishes?" and "Dressing scene...". As Marcel and the other rats were preparing to raid the human's resturant, there was a montage where the rats put on thier gear at closeups. In the scene, a particular shot of Greg (fat rat with an Eggman sounding voice) has him put on a Mickey Mouse-esque hat that drew the attention of pretty much everyone in chat as they uttered "MICKEY MOUSE CONFIRMED". The group compared the movie to a porno because of the how moaning and dickshots in the movie. Everyone was repeating the moans as "MM MM MM MM". When they said that if a light switch was a button or switch, everyone was questioning that quote until the end of the movie. There was a dancing scene with the villans, everyone was questioning "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON." The same thing happened when the villans tried to raid the humans resturant. There was a recylced scene where Marcelle tires to raid the humans resturant, when Marcel said "We gotta check the resturant carefully!" everyone was taking the word carefully sarcastically. A cat that was trying to guard a chocolate bar was triggered and then everyone (mostly parkraft123) was saying "CAT BUS". After Marcel obtained the chocolate that the cat gaurded. The movie was over.
After that, LuigiDude unlocked the playlist and people added videos as usual. Mostly YTPs that made you feel like you were on acid. One time Astro posts the Opening of Pokemon X and Y and spammed the chat with "GETTA BAN BAN GETTA BAN BAN GETTA BAN BAN GETTA BAN BAN GETTA BAN BAN". After that the Chat died and either people went to bed or went back to LMR chat.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #10 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 Overview
We'll just jump right in here. Initially, Shark Tale, the movie with that ugly ass fish voiced by Will Smith (you know the one), had won the poll. But due to inability to find the movie, the group marched onto the 2nd place movie, The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2. And trust me, this movie was as shit as that fish's face.
The before party began without LuigiDude in a cluttered playlist. At one point there were 134 videos in the playlist, featuring long livestreams and movies until it was cleaned up. After that there was YTP's, the occassional Notorious KKK by Moonman in there, etc., the usual pretty much.
The movie began with 4 skips from the group right off the bat when the first shot of the movie displayed. Once people grabbed some sense they stopped skipping they sat back, made some popcorn, and watched the shitfest of a movie. The movie is about the famous hunchback trying to get a girl, which is completely unrelated to the previous movie and makes absolutely 0 sense. The chat made frequent complaints about the lack of Frollo in the movie, and that the so-called replacement, nicknamed "Generic Gay Guy #300" by the watchers, was a completely stereotypical and horrible character.
Another constant chat message was "AND THE CROWD THRUSTS INTO APPLAUSE AS THEY SCREAM FOR MORE", a line spoken by Quasi's love interest Madellaine in an incredibly cliche scene in which she talks to herself while practicing her tightrope routine. That reminds me, this movie had a ridiculous amount of cliches in it, anywhere between the "She loves me, she loves me not" scene in which Quasi dumps Madellaine, all the way to the fight scene in which Generic Gay Guy #300 captures screechy voiced kid and threatens to murder him for about 5 minutes in an incredibly cliche talk with the "good guys".
The movie ended with yet another cliche, in which Madellaine and Quasi get married and the camera pans to another side of the room as sex is most likely happening. This spawned an array of "WORST MOVIE NO SEX" messages.
After that the after party began with the #1 song on the charts, Notorious KKK by Moonman, of course. It was basically a normal after party, featuring the same thing as normal.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #11 - Sharknado Overview
This was the very first SMS that featured a Dailymotion video, and was also the record lowest attending SMS event in the revival era. During the before party there were only 8 users. To put that in perspective, normal before parties have between 20 - 25 users. Anyway, the before party included multiple Moonman songs.
The movie began with 5 of the group members in the Instasync room, though the chat was very active nonetheless. Everyone was confused as holy hell when the movie started up, as it was all over the place. On a ship, generic Asian businessman eating some soup, FUCKIN' SHARKS, and a beach. All over the place. OH AND BAZZ.
Anyway, the most notable part of the beginning was George. George was an old drunk dude at the bar that got flooded from the SPOOKY SCARY SHARKNADO. His most notable moment was saving a trapped dog from a car. He got mad props from the watchers for that. He died after he saved the dog. R.I.P George, R.I.P.
Anyway another popular character was the bitchy boyfriend (don't remember his actual name so we'll just call him that). Though he only appeared for brief moments, his terrible characteristics brought him popularity in the chat. His classic ask-for-help-after-being-a-dick-to-that-person strategy didn't exactly help him out during his time on screen to say the least.
AND FINALLY, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, THE GENIUS ELDER GOD CARL. NO NEED FOR INTRODUCTION YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS.
Whatever let's just skip the overview all the way down to the end of the movie. The watchers number swelled back up to about 7 at this point. The ending scene, which is right up there in the top 10 of the largest mindfucks I've ever witnessed, features dude get a chainsaw. He gets eaten by a shark that also ate another main character (I don't really care about real names in case you haven't already noticed). But here's the twist. Dude winds up CUTTING HIS WAY THROUGH THE SHARK AND OUT INTO THE OPEN. DUDE RESCUES SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE CHICK. HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE'S AN HERO.
Right after that scene a shot that was suspiciously similar to Birdemic's ending shot hung for way, way, way too long. And I mean WAAAAAYYYYY too long. So, after some awkward hanging shots we get credits with a kick ass ending song to put the T in SHIT on the end of the movie.
After the movie the after party began like always, with Notorious KKK by Moonman. Numerous Moonman videos followed this one, including many from his newest album. Other videos included Dane Cook and shit, some Worst Posts on Miiverse just to spice it up a bit, and some other things.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #12 - Sharknado 2 Overview
This time the SMS crew watched the sequel to the shitfest that is Sharknado. You already know what goes down in the before party (inhale the memes, exhale the memes) so let's just dive on in. This SMS was, like the last one, less attended than most of the others. At the peek of attendance there were 10 people watching.
Alright let's stop with the additional shit and go. The movie throws us in with dude who cut through a fuckin' shark WHOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH from the last movie going absolutely insane because a storm is coming. Everyone on the plane (and in chat) thought he was mental for a couple minutes. I'm not even kidding, this dude went batshit. Anyway after they find a way to calm him down SHARKS LITERALLY START CHARGING AT THE PLANE OUT OF A TORNADO. Realistically they probably knew about this storm, which in real life they would have had to cancel the flight or delay it. But in Sharknado 2, logic is just thrown out the fucking window apparently... OUT THE WINDOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!
So at this point in the movie the watchers are completely lost. Sharks flying all over the fucking place, people getting eaten, trying to figure out how to get the long ass video title off the screen; you know. The pilots on the plane die, so everyone flips their shit on the plane until totally qualified to be a pilot shark cutting badass an hero dude Fin (yes that's his name, and yes it's a horrible pun. The movie is about sharks, sharks have fins, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA REALLY FUNNY SHARKNADO WRITERS. REAL FUCKIN' FUNNY) takes his try at piloting and miraculously lands safely in New York. The chat was talking about how Fin wasn't qualified to fly a plane so the movie was already fucked on that note.
Then we got a random meetup in NYC, some Weather Channel and news shit (featuring our boy Al), and Fin getting really sad when he finds out that his soon-to-be-wife's arm got eaten by a shark. Yeah, eaten. Yeah, by a shark. Yeah, this is a movie about sharks. Not what you signed up for? Then strap in anyway.
Anyway next thing you know Fin's at a Mets game, where we meet the colourful character of weird Mets fan dude who talks like a Californian. "Like, that's a bummer dude, like, sad, dude." is one of his trademark lines. He meets a former MLB player who didn't hit a home run on his last hit which he promised to do for his dad or some shit I dunno.
And then we're on the subway with, HEH, ANOTHER PUN GOOD JOB, Jared Fogle. You know, Jared. Jared from SUBWAY. On the SUBWAY. FUCKING REALLY SHARKNADO??!?! Good ol' Jared tells some people to eat fresh as people are getting killed by sharks on the Subway. R.I.P. Mets fan by the way, he died via shark attack during this scene. Peace out dude, like, yeah. Bro.
After a whole lot of nothing, we get to some action near the end of the movie. The Michael and Kelly Show gets overrun by sharks, our main character squad dynamites the shit outta some sharks, and our good friend Al presents the news with some totally genuine acting, bro.
End of the movie doesn't really matter, all you have to know is that they stopped it once again thanks to Fin yay yay woo aww yeah. And then the after party happened, which as you already know, had a little bit of memes, a little bit of dank, and a little bit of doritos, with a pinch of Mountain Dew.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #13 - Cars 2 Overview
It all began about 1 hour before the SMS. The movie that the gang was supposed to watch was The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, but LuigiDude couldn't find it so that they watched Cars 2. Yeah. Surprisingly enough this before party hosted numerous new favorites in videos for the group, such as Drew and Jacob (FEGAN! FEGAN! HEY, FEGAN!), Michael Rosen's cover of Moonman's Notorious KKK, among others.
After the before party, LuigiDude popped a video titled "Cars 2 Full Movie English" into the playlist without knowledge that it wasn't actually the movie (it was the Cars 2 game). The watchers proceeded to complain for a good 5-10 minutes until LuigiDude found the right movie. Once the real movie loaded up, the chat erupted with "YAY HE FOUND IT" shit.
Right when the movie started, there were already a couple of skips. Of course, there weren't a lot of them, so they were ignored for the most part. However, during some point in the movie, the skip number started getting dangerously high, with everyone starting to go apeshit about it. However, they died down when Luigidude threatened to cancel SMS next week.
Okay, back to the beginning. The movie started on the ocean, where the famed James Bond wannabe car was in some deep as fuck trouble until he got out of it in super cheesy ways. Yay. Alright so after a super fucking stupid beginning filled with all of the budget Disney and Pixar had on this piece of worthless fucking shit movie, we have our hero Lightning McQueer refusing to race in this new fuel grand prix or whatever. This asshat Francesco is on the international racing news or whatever the fuck they call it going on about how he is the grrrrreatest rrrrrracer that everrrrrr was and that Lightning McQueer was just being a bitch.
But none of that really matters considering the movie is centered around Mater. Larry the Motherfucking Cable Guy himself people; in his true form.... Pickup truck. He was shit in this movie though, mostly because the writers just made him TOO much of a dumbass. And that's pretty hard to do after the dumbassery he pulled off in the first movie. And really the movie focused on him far too much and not on the... AHEM... PLOT. The nonexistant plot. The movie just drags on and fucking on without anything happening too. Yeah, it's one of those movies. One of those movies that just bores the everloving shit out of you. It's also one of those movies that completely ruins its predecessor.
The movie also featured incredibly stereotypical Japanese things. Yay. And Mater acted like the average fucking American in Japan apparently.
"AYY CAN I GET SUMMADAT PISTACHIER ISCHE CREAM?!?!!??!"
"PISTACHIER ISCHE CREAM"
"No, is wassabi."
"CAN I GET TWO SCHKOOPS"
- Japanese car puts some wassabi on a tray for him*
"MOAR MOAR MOAR"
- Car continues to put wassabi on plate to "eugh wat dafuq mang das tu much bruh" levels*
"MMMMMM NOW DAS A PLATE A PISTACHIER ISCHE CREAM!"
Shortly after Mater screams "DON'T EAT THA PISTACHIER ISCHE CREAM. IS GON BAD!" and drinks some water from one of those dumbass futuristic waterfalls falling from the ceiling fountains because that makes sense. Also, the iconic quote, "UNCONTROLLABLY SPEWING CAR CUM" became popular after LuigiDude included it in a poll. Semen. Splooge. Cum. After that, there was a high frequency of Car hentai jokes.
That is all.
Throughout the movie Mater joins a spy gang that James Bond wannabe car is a part of because of his supposedly high ability to classify engines. The "head" car if you will is just a dude with a voice changer and a camera that points the camera at a car with a shitty engine. This is like CoD or GMod or another one of those games that have dumbass kids with fucking shitty voice changers intimidate even younger and stupider kids. Jesus Christ this movie is a mess.
Anyway, WHAT A SHOCK, the spy crew turned out to be THA BAAAAAAADDDDD PEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSS OH MAN DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING! They also gamble.
Nice influence, Disney.
Alright so, these spy fucks are behind the acts of multiple wrecks on tracks that make all the cars but one switch fuels. Guess who that one car is.
Just fucking guess.
OOOOHHH, ANOTHER SHOCK, IT'S LIGHTNING MCQUEER. HOT DAMN MAN STOP BLIND SIDING ME WITH THESE WWAAAAACKY TWISTS!
Goddamnit. Whatever fuck it. So the movie ends in a clusterfuck of events which include the entire spygang nearly getting murdered by a clock and Mater getting a bomb strapped to his engine. In a cliche turn of events, Axelrod, also known as Smallrod (which is what I'm going to call him), the inventer of Allinoll, strapped such bomb to Mater's engine. The cars try to disable the bomb until Smallrod fucks up and says it. LIKE EVERY FUCKING OTHER KIDS MOVIE EVER HAS DONE. I kind of wanna see what the alternative scene would've been like. You know, Smallrod wouldn't be such a dumb piece of shit to say the disable bomb word and Mater just flat out blows up. Tragic shit right there man.
Tragic fucking shit.
The SMS chat died soon after the movie and the chat shifted to the "Fun Night" chat, which died out in the early A.M. hours. Drew and Jacob was also a staple in this after party.
Shitty Movie Saturadys #14 - Manos: The Hands of Fate Overview
Bla Bla Bla, Previews, Moonman, YTP's. The First thing that people noticed when the movie started that the child looked like Frisk from Undertale. Therefore making a bunch of Undertale References throughout the movie. There was a huge Car Ride Scene therefore giving people flashbacks to the Birdemic SMS. When the Dog died, chat noticed that the dog's name was Pepe. therfore making a bunch of Pepe jokes. Even more then the Undertale ones. LuigiDude notices that the translated movie title is Hands : The Hands in fate. Chat restates this title over and over again.
How Many times have I mentioned chat in this Overview?
When the lady started screaming for her husband, "MIKE", chat thinks she said Bike, therefore repeating the phrase, kind of like the *uncontrollably spews car cum* joke on the previous SMS. When Frisk's name was revealed to be Debbie, Chat spewed out even more Undertale jokes before, Pulling a SammyClassicSonicFan saying that Debbie's name wasn't Debbie and was Frisk. When Frisk's Dad Dies, A Flute and Piano Duet plays, therefore causing chat to uproar in "CUE THE FLUTES". So apparently Frisk's mom starts hitting on other men, therefore causing the chat to spam the /fap emote. When the Master reawakens, people notice his mustache resembles Hitler, therefore chat becomes /pol/.
All of the Masters wives go wrestling ala WWE, therefore MrLuigi thinks that this scene inspired Tommy Wiesau to make The Room. Torgo Disobeys the Master and therefore kills Torgo. Or puts him to sleep via Hypnosis? My God this movie makes no fucking sense. So much fucking sense that I might as well stop writing the overview for this one. Luigidude, you can take over this one.
Uh, okay, this movie makes no fucking sense. Seriously. If this movie were a toothpaste kind, it would be one of those sweet & sour toothpastes that just makes you go "WHAT THE FUCK IS IN MY MOUTH". So yeah.
WHAT THE FUCK THOUGH SERIOUSLY COME ON WHY HAS GOD ABANDONED US THIS MOVIE GAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. So after Master puts Torgo into a sleep hypnosis, the movie editors (who were oh so skilled) cut to a scene where Torgo is awake....? Why thooooough? And then Master and Torgo get into a heated argument over wifes since Master has like 1337 wives and he's gettin da pussy, while Torgo has no wives. Not a playa rip :(.
Master burns off Torgo's hand and has a good 3 minute sinister laugh about it. But... But why thoooooough? Then Mike gets murdered and Frisk leaves but doesn't? What? What the ACTUAL fuck? WHAT!?!?!? Then, to top off the "I don't fucking know what's going on what the fuck WHAT" style that this movie puts you in, Mike turns into a second generation Torgo. Yeah, he must've gotten Torgo's hand-me-down meth.... Heh. Then after party bullshit happened. Oh dude still...
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE?
Wait... I... I get it...
THANKS FOR THE METH TORGO BY THE WAY.
REAL GOOD WITH THE MOVIE REVEALS A WHOLE NEW PLOT.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #15 - Dragon Ball Evolution Overview
It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from goin under.
Alright so before party Daffy Duck fuckin YTP's you know all that jazz and rock and roll and shit. Main course? The fucking Dragon Ball movie with the sub of Evolution. That's right. And guess what? It sucked ass. As expected. LET'S DIG IN!
Before the movie even got past the opening credits it was funny as fuck considering the version of the movie that LuigiDude found was high pitched as all hell and everyone sounded like they were on helium. Goku especially seemed like even more of a dishit because of the high pitch, as if his character wasn't already pathetic. Goku is played by a wannabe hero teenager who really just looks like a pervert kawaii Zelda fan.
The chat mocked the movie's constant use of airbending techniques, saying things such as "AVATAR CONFIRMED!!" or "GOKU IS THE LAST AIRBENDER". The watchers also took advantage of the phrase "Dragon Balls!" and used it for shit like this: "Dragon testicals". It was funny as fuck when it was going on.
Nothing really notable went on in the movie. It was just one bland, high pitched, dragon testical mess. Goku didn't really develop at all. Nothing fucking happened.
Then the after party happened and more Daffy Duck, YTP's, and fucking hip hop a hibby a hibby to the hip hip hop and you don't stop the rockin to the bang bang boogie say up jump the boogie as we're dancin to the boogity beat.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #16 - The Little Panda Fighter Overview
The Little Panda Fighter is fucking horrible.
No. Fucking. Exaggeration.
But let's backtrack a bit to around 1 hour before the movie began. It was 7 PM.... And it was the before party. NEXT.
The movie began at 8 PM. Pancotta the shit ass panda is the first thing we see. And guess what. He's whistling. I swear to god look at the fucking animation on the movie it's fucking awful like Jesus Christ. Why are his teeth showing? It just looks awful. Fucking. Awful.
Everything in this movie is shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt. So no one comes to this panda boss dude's boxing place so he dresses up as the panda dumbass Panfucka and... And... And fiiiights?? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?! When he fights this care bear dude who always wins for some reason who is 800 pounds (whaaaaaa?) he wins somehow. BECAUSE HE'S RAP BEAR. AND HE'S THE BOSS.
So after the bear wins we're switched to an awkward, cringeworthy scene of Panfucka performing dance for some reason. In front of some critics. For some reason. Yeah. And it ends in a really, really, really well done superb Oscar winning dive through a couple of doors into a deep, dark abyss of nothing.
HAVE FUN PANFUCKA!
Alright so after that shit bear dude's apparently confident in his next fight, but no-voice-acting-ability-Panfucka McGee decides that he REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTS TO FIGHT FOR SOME REASON. So he goes into training with MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Mr. Fuckmyhairis (A.K.A. bear boss) and the training montage goes on for fucking forever. And MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. And he gets his ass royally kicked by 800 pound Care Bear fighter who literally says fucking nothing throughout the entire film. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. But hey, it turns out that everyone betted against Panfucka because they all knew he was a complete. Fucking. Weak ass. WHAT A JOOOOOYYYYYY!!!
So thanks to such bets, bear dude is rich as holy hell and decides to take a briefcase full of money to masturbate with it or something I don't know what the fuck. And then we find that boss bear shit gave the boxing bar to Panfucka and Panfucka in turn turns it into... Guess. Just. Fucking. Guess.
Yep he turned it into a dance bar. SO NOW GO. WALK OUT THE DOOOR.
The movie is shit. The voice acting is shit. Everything. Is. Shit.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #17 - Plan 9 From Outer Space Overview
The movie... The movie fucking starts with this blonde headed dude (movie's in black and white but he looks like Donald Motherfucking Trump so it makes sense) narrator who's rambling on about shit that I don't even know because NOTHING IS INTRODUCED THEY JUST THROW YOU RIGHT IN WITH NO WARNING NO ANYTHING NO NOTHING JUST BOOM HERE'S A SHITHEAD THAT POORLY EXPLAINS SHIT. YOU HAPPY?!
This movie is directed by Ed Wood however so it makes sense, as he is regarded as one of the very worst directors of all time. Anyway as we delve into this shitfest we reach a scene of some cops for no reason. Then we get the REALLY good acting parts with pilots that don't even fly fucking planes, the monsters walk ridiculously slow, the people who are scared shitless supposedly are actually RUNNING SO FUCKING SLOW HOW THE FUCK IS THAT CONSIDERED RUNNING LIKE GODDAMN.
The chat created multiple memes of these occurances, such as "not even fucking flying", "RUN!", etc. Alright so after that we run across one of the pilots... Um... Doing everyday things... Like going to work....
Yeah so he goes to work because reasons and he STILL DOESN'T FUCKING FLY and he's scared because his wife is alone at their house and they live next to a graveyard. I think you already know the cliche.
"SPOOKY OOH GOOSEBUMPS SHARKNADO 3 GRAVEYARD SPOOKY ZOMBIE DRACULA SPOOKY SLOW RUN SHIT ASS FUCK AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
Yeah so everyone fucking dies because reasons and the cop general dies and then his deputy dies and then polls happen and shit and it's just boring as fuck I'M SORRY BUT THIS MOVIE IS JUST UGH. THIS MAY BE WORSE THAN MANOS.
WORSE THAN FUCKING MANOS.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #18 - Jurassic Shark Overview
Jurassic Shark? JU BET URASS IC SUCKS!
...Yeah that was better in my head.
Anyway yeah so this movie is pretty ass. But we begin with watchers from UK and Brazil bitching and moaning about how they can't watch the movie. Player Two had the bright idea to look for the movie on different vids, but the majority were blocked in the US. He finally stumbled upon a low quality, sped up, high pitched version on le interwebz and matched it up with the movie everyone else was watching.
The movie begins with some totally not cliche bitches on beaches scene. Except it's not a beach. It's a shallow 2 feet at best deep lake. It's DEFINITELY not an overused, unoriginal, fucking stupid, or cliche opening scene! FUCKING. TOTALLY.
The movie is just a gigantic mess and slew of terrible sound effects, bad acting, bad music, terrible sets (if you could even call them that), repetitiveness, pull-it-out-your-assness, etc. You get the point. It's. Terrible. Goddamn.
So we're just gonna skipp-a you-a ahead-a because-a dis-a entire-a section-a is-a motharrh-a ffuckene pointless-and annoyaing-a movie. ...-a... Well anyways, we get to the point where, surprise surprise, MR. ANT JOINS THE INSTASYNC WITH A FUCKTON OF ALTS AND STARTS SKIPPING. GRAAAAAAAAAAAAND. The entire movie eventually gets skipped and the chat goes into chaos for a while.
Some people helped out with the syncing up of the movie so that they could continue watching, even though people were still bitching and going on about it like really shut the holy hell up you fuck. The rest of the movie was really clouded up because of that. OH AND THERE WAS A HANGOUT IN THE MIDST OF THE INSTASYNC SO THAT WAS A THING.
WAIT WHAT? I'M GONNA CUT MYSELF OFF? NO PLEASE D-
Shitty Movie Saturdays #19 - What's Up: Balloon to the Rescue and Cool Cat Saves The Kids (SMS Double Feature)
Hot damn doggity fuckity bang bang boogity to the boogity bang it's another Brinquedo film! And guess what? It's ripping off another animated film! This time? UP! FUCKING UP. YOU KNOW, LIKE WITH THE OLD DUDE AND THE CUB SCOUT KID OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. YOU KNOW THAT ONE?!!?!?!? YEAH.
The movie began with a television screen. Poor animation stands out right off the fucking bat I mean come on Brinquedo, at least try. Goddamn. So these two gay professors are up on the news that no one fucking watches anymore and they're talking about how they got a house to float from... Guess... Just guess...
SO, they're discussing this brand new contraption when the news reporter asks "what's the password" and the professor, particularly the dumbass fuckface one, short stubby, near bald, says the fucking password on live television. Smart.
He then instructs his gay fellow uncle "DON'T SAY TEH PESHWERD!!!!!1", which is pretty smart since hell, why not say the password on live TV and then tell him to not say it? Smart. SMART. FUCKING SMART WONDERFUL GOD DAMNIT
Okay so let's move on. We have this snot nosed fuckface little kid watching the TV in a dark room for what reason? Oh, it's because the gay professor uncles ARE THE FUCKFACE LITTLE KID'S UNCLES! WOW! AMAZEBALLS!
Oh and a news story, breaking mind you, is that "Amanda", fuckface little kid's sister or whatever I don't care, is apparently the most glorious chick in town and little kid's just like "oh yee she booty full meme mmm". Fucking hell.
Moving on we get to the point where the news reporter forcibly and awkwardly rips the balloon controller out of one of the uncle's hands and again, awkwardly moves the house up and down. Also the little kid is in that house? What? I just don't get it, are you watching the news because your house and/or uncles are on it? But then the kid pops in the shot for a split second and screams some annoying bullshit. This movie already... Just no.
Oh shit this overview's gettin' a lil long and we already have another movie to cover! Alrighty moving ahead about 30 minutes we are introduced to generic ass stereotypical and offensive French and Asian characters. This Asian man in particular was stuck in the middle of a rut with some monsters and this prompts the stupid kid to say "I don't want that Chinese guy in my monsters!". Speaks for itself.
THEN WE MOVE ONTO COOL CAT SAVES THE KIDS. Finding Cool Cat randomly was sorta cool, so the watchers fucking watched away anyway since Daddy Derek probably would've taken down the movie soon. So let's jump in.
Title screen fun for about 5 minutes then the movie begins with a kid complaining about bullies while being just outside of... Bully's Diner? Bully's Diner? Bully's Diner. Nice. Because that's obviously the place you go to prevent bullies. Correct?
Soon after we come up to WHOA DADDY MOTHERFUCKING DEREK HOLY COCKSUCK DAMN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDY DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK IS HERE! WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cool Cat meets his... "Friend" Maria in his backyard. By the way Cool Cat is totally not a (r)34 year old man dressed in a cat suit who is inviting young children into his backyard to fuck them. Totally not.
They meet this bully kid, who obviously has to be a fat, white, blonde kid. He's also the best actor in the entire film I'm not even kidding watch the picture it's amazing. He does look at the camera once though... RIP Grammy award... The kid is apparently being an asshole through sending douchey texts to generic female child Maria and child predator Cool Cat, who respond incredibly aggressively. "IDENTIFY YOURSELF!"
Fat blonde white bully kid ends up accidentally spraying canned paint into his eye thanks to the wind. Which is apparently like Adam Sandler's newest comedy since Cool Cat and Maria are enjoying the everloving hell out of watching this fat kid get paint in his eye. Truly a standard to live up to.
Moving onto the gun safety portion of the film.... Oh god...
We begin with Butch the Bully (fat blonde white bully) finding a gun with his friend. They show it off and shit and Maria and her friends (including the COOLEST CAT AROUND COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL CAT) go to the school thanks to Daddy Derek telling them to. Grand.
So they straight up call the police on these two young kids thanks to the school and the kids get arrested. BUT NOT BEFORE BUTCH'S FRIEND UTTERS THE GREATEST ONE LINER OF ALL TIME; "OOH MY MOMMA'S GONNA WHOOP ME!". BEAUTIFUL TALENT 900/10. FUCKING AMAZING.
So the kids get handcuffed and put in the cop car to get driven off to the police station. Wonderful conclusion to an absolutely stunning film.
That's all, clucks!
Now go on and Disco Duck!
Shitty Movie Saturdays #20 - Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World Overview
A confusing SMS to say the least but a good one.
So we begin at Mr. LuigiDude's apartment, to be exact his PC desk, as he runs in and fucking slides right into his broken PC chair. Boots up the computer, opens up good ol' Google Chrome, furiously types in the URL to his Instasync, opens another tab and goes to find Spy Kids 4. Copy - paste URL. And wait.
The time? Around 8:30. Everybody had pretty much left LuigiDude's Instasync because they had been told by some fuckfan that SMS had been postponed until Sunday. How fucking stupid is that? It's called Shitty Movie Saturdays for a reason.
The movie boots up and the skips start flying in like fucking mixtapes from 14 year old 3rd world country looking ass Bulls fans. Everyone's going "wha de fack is dis i tot i twats consoled!!!!11" and screaming "unlock pls".
But the important part of this overview is the movie.
Because fuck you guys.
We open with 762 company splash art animations because obviously everyone wanted their grubby little hands on this piece of shit. The scene we are greeted with is some nerd screaming at a pregnant woman to kill a serial time murderer.
I'm already fucking lost.
Then this pregnant chick totally beats like 7 guys up, breaks her water, but continues to keep fighting. ACCURATE! (Please note: Shitty Movie Saturdays does not agree with the notion that a pregnant woman does not face pain and that the experience is a funny punchline)
Time serial murderer dude gets arrested and taken to prison(?) for future ass rapings. UNTIL HE... Doesn't somehow? And just gets out and goes to fucking time warehouse dumpster HQ CO TA.CO?! But wait, there's more! We get to meet the whole family of fuckface annoying stupid ass characters!
I fucking hate these kid characters. And the shitty fucking dogs. All the baby kid does is fart, and the kids make fart jokes. All the dog does is fart.
EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS MOVIE MAKES FUCKING FART JOKES
It's like the writers are all fucking 65 year old rich white dudes who attempt to cater to kids by making all the characters snotty bitches who joke about vomit and farts all the time because their sense of humor is so bottom of the barrel that Vine memes might actually be fucking funnier.
Perfect idea I know.
We're gonna skip up to the point where the bitch wife's husband finds out that bitch wife is a spy! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH WOW DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE HOLY SHIT STOP HITTING ME WITH THESE EPIC TWISTS, SPY KIDS WRITERS! WHOA!
I think it might be too unfair that I had to suffer through this shitty plot without you guys so I'll fill you in a little bit: Husband guy is the host for some "expose" show. And it's about spies. And who did his wife, who is a spy, decide to marry? The most logical and obvious choice is the host of an expose on spies.
Obviously husband dude is broke up about this and ends up losing his job for destroying a tape which featured his kids, his wife, and his dog beating up time shits. Also a good move.
We get into the real good shit a little later in the movie when some hotshot time whore comes out from the shadows and tells the kids this long story about how as a kid he fucked up and got frozen in time and then sees his father die about forty years later.
The truly fucked thing about this movie is that the moral is "hey people die you fucking idiots".
Dude also changes race through time apparently.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #21 - Star Wars Holiday Special Overview
We begin our journey in the secluded Instasync room on the worst part of the internet... And that Instasync room... Is SMS....
We pick up on our heroes at about 8 PM, as everyone starts piling into Luigi's Instasync to watch the famed 7.8 masterpiece Star Wars Holiday Special. It was a merry night, and all was well. The narrator introduces the actors, even the ones inside the costumes like Chewie and C3PO. But then the famous line is erupted.... "AND R2-D2 AS R2-D2!". The chat goes insane over this line and spams it throughout the entire opening segment. R2-D2 DESERVES A FUCKING OSCAR FOR HIS ROLE AS R2-D2. WHO COULD FORGET HIS DEPICTION OF R2-D2?!
Chewie and Han are flying through space in their epic 1977 space shit, as they are fighting with enemies only to burst into a conversation about Chewie's family um.... "Holiday".... They call it "Life Day", but I'm assuming they mean like Christmas but for space? Why does space get a special fucking Christmas holiday name? That's bullshit. Damn wookiees and your oh so special holidays... "Life Day", huh? Yeah, more like "Kill Me Day".... Pssh...
Anyway yeah so Chewie gets super... Um... Emotional? Is that the right word? Not sure. There's sad music and all, but Chewie's literally just grunting his lungs out. Damn. Sad. So we move on to Chewie's family's house. WAIT WHAT?!
Why is the wookiee family here? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Seriously. Why? Yeah I guess the writers just figured "hey everyone liked the first one where we had cool battles with lightsabers and shit, why don't we make this one focused on Chewie's family doing random bullshit!" and they got it through. Jesus Christ.
SO WE GET TO THE POINT WHERE CHEWIE'S KID (Lumpy, which is a pretty fitting name) IS FUCKING GOING AROUND WITH AN AIRPLANE GOING "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" AND SHIT LIKE HOLY FUCK WHY GODDAMNIT EAR RAPE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
The Grandpa wookiee basically tells the kid to shut the fuck up. At least I think so. I don't speak perfect wookiee but I'm pretty sure that's right. And then cue the sad music guys, track 3. Yup there we go alright.
Every scene seems to transpire in these wooden PC's that Chewie's family has. One of them features an imperial officer checking in on some gay prostitute's house (not even kidding) and another features an actually good 70's band. No seriously, they got a band to play for this movie. And the song isn't even cut up, it's a full fucking music video! ROCKIN
Another scene around here is... Oh god... THE FUCKING MOTHER WOOKIEE WATCHING A COOKING SHOW. And um... A very questionable cooking show at that.... "STIR WHIP STIR WHIP STIR STIR STIR WHIP STIR WHIP"..... Yeah uh..... I'll um... Just leave now....
AND AT THE END LEIA SINGS. JESUS CHRIST WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!
Well kids, nothing else screams Christmas like grunting wookies, R2-D2 as R2-D2, and STIR WHIP. I'll leave this one on a single, pearcing note: This. Movie. Sucks. Ass.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #22 - The Frog Prince, The Last Airbender, and Mortal Kombat: The Legend Begins Overview
Sit down kiddies.
Uncle LuigiDude's got quite a story to share with you bout the time them SMS boys went down to Mississippi to watch some shit ass movies.
The Frog Prince is like one of those movies you would mistakenly buy for your kids to watch because it was kinda like the Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks movie you were thinking of when you picked it up.
...If you had kids. You fucking lonely son'biatch.
So yeah, it's another Video Brinquedo movie. Jesus Christ KILL ME.
Well, that's kind of like a common phrase in the movie. Yep, that's right. The couple of takeaways from the movie are that the art style between the shittilly done characters and poor background really clash and that it contains a LOT of shit in the dialogue that surely isn't passable for what it's rated as. Here's a small collection:
"Why don't you go jump off a cliff?!"
"Jump off a cliff!"
"Dirty old man!"
And many, many others.
From your favorite characters!
Creepy Old Man Who Wants To Marry A Girl Who's At Least 50 Years Younger Than Him! AKA PEDO!!!1
Bitch Who's Picky As Fuck!
Frog Who Wants That Pussy!
And others from your favorite movie production company.... VIDEO! BRINQUEDO!
Alright fuck that movie let's go on to Avatar. YEAH! COOL! AWESOME! AVATAR! FUCK YEAH.
Oh... Oh no...
No M Night...
DEAR FUCK IT'S THE ASST AIRBENDERFROMFUTURAMA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That's right, the disgrace of a film that is The Last Airbender. I mean honestly, can we even count this as a piece of cinema anymore? It's more like fucking garbage. Not even decent garbage like you would go dumpster diving far. HELL no, this is the bad shit. THE REAL BAD SHIT. The kind of shit Vinny would wake up and smell in his fucking trash can and scream at as Fuck Bees is playing in the background.
Deep shit I know.
So this movie is probably the boringest (boringest? Is that a word? I'm not sure. Someone look that up on history dot com or something I don't fucking know) thing I've watched on SMS. I mean seriously. I actually got up and started playing shit on my XBOX 360. This was just... A really boring movie. With horrible CGI and a lack of understanding of the original series. Right down to the detail that THEY CAN'T FUCKING PRONOUNCE AANG RIGHT. IT'S NOT "OONG", IT'S AANG. FUCKING IDIOTS.
God. We've had 2 shitty, horrible, repetitive, boring movies so far that I've honestly been too lazy to fucking cover completely. I mean seriously, these have been shit. But this time.... This time it's a different kind of horrible. It's... It's something other wordly awful.
Mortal Kombat, you know? Yeah that great series of games on the... Numerous... Numerous consoles... And by numerous I mean... Uh... Reallly numerous... Consoles... We'll get back to the numerous thing later.
Anyway, this is a fairly odd film. And by "fairly odd", I mean I was just trying to make a Fairly Odd Parents pun god help me. But yeah this is awful.
The movie seems to strangely switch between badly drawn 2D animation and... Uh.... Questionable... CGI shit during battle scenes. OH LOOK IT'S BATMAN VS. BATMAN! SPOOKY! WONDERFULLY MADE CGI! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Here we go. So they get to the Mortal Kombat where they fight a shit ton of things, right? Yeah. Right. So they um.... Reuse the same shot seven times, right? Right.
WHAT THE FUCK
Yes indeed, this fucking movie reuses THE SAME SHOT numerous times. SEE I TOLD YOU I WOULD COME BACK TO NUMEROUS. And um... And so the credits roll... And THE CHARACTER NAMES ARE WRONG
I'M FUCKING OUT
Shitty Movie Saturdays #36 - Titanic: The Legend Goes On/Glitter Overview
So everything was normal in the chat, with the regular stuff you’d find in the SMS playlist. Now it came time for…
GLITTER!!! You know, that one movie that had it's soundtrack released on 9/11? So after a hectic-as-fuck before show, Glitter begins to start, much to the agony of everyone. It started off awfully because everyone was complaining about the low quality (360p) and how the screen was positioned. After a good while, everyone shuts up, finally.
So the movie starts with this black chick singing some song,later inviting her daughter up to sing. She ends up getting fired or something (I was too busy wanting to kill myself for watching this then listening), goes home, lights a cigarette, and the whole house burns down. I don’t even…
So then she loses custody of her daughter, then we cut to a school scene, where everyone wants to pet her cat. Who takes their fucking cat to school? What the fuck?
Then we cut into “1983” as the movie says, and it cuts into a recording booth, where the recorders are being dicks and completely turning other voices down for one chick. Wow.
We then transition to a concert, where nothing unusual happens.Then out of nowhere, the audio just cuts out. Most people were freaking out, saying "WHERE THE FUCK'S THE AUDIO" until it was later discovered to have been done because of copyright. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to buy the rights to this movie? Most people leaved the room out of annoyance of this, which makes Luigi mad. He claims if there are only 4 people in the chat then SMS would be cancelled. After a while everyone comes back. FINALLY the audio comes back and we are introduced to the two mains characters, I think. This movie was so sloppy I don’t even…we finally find out the name of our protagonist, Billy. Who names a girl Billy? Then we meet another guy named Dice. Dice? Are you fucking kidding me?
We cut to another fucking concert (did I forget the mention how this movie just goes from one place to another without any explanation? It’s annoying) and we get ANOTHER audio cut for copyright. And this pisses everyone off, prompting Luigi to entirely delete the movie from the playlist. Everyone is scrambling to find a replacement movie.
Freeze finds the Hannah Montana movie, albeit at a fixed camera position that gets rid of ¾ of the screen and high pitched voices. About 2 minutes in everyone remembers that we already watched that movie, so it was skipped over. We decide to get get The Legend of the Titanic. Then, about 3 minutes in, Luigi remembers we did this one already, thus skipping over a third movie.
We find Titanic: The Legend Goes On. You know, that one with the rapping dog?. At first everyone jokes at its cheapness and say “this needs a Blu Ray release”. About 20 minutes in everyone starts getting bored and the amount of people in the chat slowly begins to decrease. Oh God….
This movie is so bad that the chat legit started cheering when the Titanic sank. Unfortunately, only ONE PERSON DIED. ONE!?!?!? IT’S THE TITANIC DISASTER, YOU CAN’T TELL ME ONLY ONE BRITISH DUDE DIED!!! HOLY HELL!!!
(Actually two people died, the british loser, and that stupid singer)
Shitty Movie Saturdays #40 - Pixels Overview
Hey, you like Adam Sandler movies?... No? Well, you certainly aren't going to like this movie. It's a movie about video games from the 80's. You know, like Donkey Kong! PAC-MAN! And... Centipede and... Asteroids... what are those again?
So when the reuploaded version the chat watched was off-centered and mirrored, which some complained at first, but eventually grew onto. We start at the arcade in the 80's. And because this is the 80's, it also adds in 80's trends like "TOTALLY TUBULAR." Yeah, hilarious. There is a reason why people stopped saying that crap. We also find this loser nerd who can't stop looking at this pixelated chick in some game. Nothing unusual here, considering most people on this site fap to hentai every day. Anyways, we then enter some world championship gaming thing. Yes, "world". TOTALLY REALISTIC. So it comes down to two people: young Adam Sandler and FIREBREAKER. Well, that's his nickname atleast. They play Donkey Kong and some really bad effects appear as they go. No, really, they look out of place and are just cheesy. Firebreaker wins and young Sandler is sad about the thing.
After that, we cut to actual Adam Sandler and... wait, Paul Blart? Since when did you become President?!? You never told us! Also, for some reason, Sandler is wearing all orange, and it makes me want to puke. And then on some TV we see some kids that look like the German police learn how to read. I don't know what's happening and that's a real problem this movie has: Things happen for no reason, mostly to tell a stupid joke. After that, we cut to... some UFO crapping out some Galaga enemies. No build up whatsoever, we literaly cut to the part where they spawn in. And then for the next 30 or so minutes almost NOTHING HAPPENS.
To put in a summary, Sandler goes to some house where we meet the love interest in the game. After some time, we find the two in a closet where the girl is crying and drinking a sippy cup. No joke, she is literaly drinking from a baby's cup. Then we see the two almost kiss, but the chat didn't see this as sexy, rather just a cop-out scene. Because that's what happened, a cop-out kiss. Because that CERTAINLY hasn't been done to death! So at a later point, Sandler goes to the White House... I guess with the girl which at first he thought she was following him, but turns out she works there. Brilliant! Then we find Sandler meeting up with the loser nerd from the arcade. Yeah, him. Then we get footage broadcasted in '82 from an alien planet that wants war with Earth. Also, alien Madonna. Because that exists apparently.
So after some other scenes that don't matter, we FINALLY get to some action! Some Action 52!
If you thought that joke was forced, don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from in this movie.
So we find some military soilders trying to fend off this terrible looking thing from Centipede but can't because they don't know how killing the centipede works. So the nerds take control and destroy the evil centipedes and they do, but then "level 2" happens and one of the centipedes gets loose and goes into a hotel where a terrible joke happens as the centipede tries to replicate the fitness video in some grandmother's hotel room. Sandler catches it offguard and anti-climatically kills it. Yes, that's where it all ends.So everyone is happy and the ruler of the alien planet broadcasts about another attack. And we also cut back to the grandma and some of the seperated pixels turn into... the Duck Hunt dog. Why? Because ha ha ha! Video game reference!!
Later on we meet with Firebreaker, who's in jail for reasons I don't recall, and tells them that if he can defeat the pixel monsters that he can be sent free. Then the girl (yeah, remember her?) gets the shortest phone call ever and says that PAC-MAN is about to attack New York City. After that, we go to a scene where the girl explains the cars that act like the ghosts from PAC-MAN. You know, Blinky, Inky, Pinky, and Clyde? Sandler says how there is only three people and four cars, and the girl introduces to them the creator of PAC-MAN! Mr. Iwata-- I mean Iwatani! I bet he regrets being in this disaster of a movie... And his only two purposes in this movie is being a forced cameo and a stupid joke of him going towards the monster PAC-MAN and saying how he is his son. Yes, it's that predictable.
So PAC-MAN eats Mr. Iwatani's hand and can't drive the car he was assigned to. So, that part of there being only three people is irrelevant now since only three can drive the ghost cars. Why couldn't the girl be one of the drivers?!? Ludicrous. And then some action happens with the three attempting to make PAC-MAN lose his three lives (and you already know they suceed in the end, so there's no real tension). PAC-MAN on his last life gains a power pellet and tries to eat Sandler, but at the very end of the 10 seconds the power pellet lasts (which isn't even 10 seconds by the way), Sandler's car turns to normal and kills the yellow devil. Wonderful! Magnificant! And the crowd goes wild... except the chat who are cringing in the meantime.
The loser nerd also finds Q-Bert, who can speak English out of the blue. This is really only because of dumb jokes and eventually expedition. Also, yeah, we get information out of Q-Bert about the alien planet. They realize they can get information out of him because the girl's son is taken away and then says how her son is like a trophy to them like how Q-Bert is a trophy to them. Oh yeah, the girl had a son. Why didn't I say this earlier? Because he doesn't have to do anything with the plot until now.
So Sandler, the loser nerd, Firebreaker, Q-Bert, and the girl try to go into the UFO that's releasing the video game monsters, but before that we get a scene where the monsters try to take down Washington DC. The gang's all here! Including Frogger, Tetris, and... THE SMURFS?!? What are The Smurfs doing here in a video game based movie? Oh yeah, hurr durr 80's jokes. So the loser nerd tires to attack some ninjas that are trying to attack kids in a school bus, and then the chick that the loser nerd obsesses over comes up and starts attacking him. And by the way, the way she turns from pixelated to a realistic form looks horrendus, but that's pretty much how all of the effects are like in this.
We enter the UFO and we get the climax of the movie! Wait, the climax of the movie? Why is this the climax and not when we go to the alien planet? Beats me. So, this time we face off against Donkey Kong, as our "heroes" rescue the boy, and two other characters that were abducted by the UFO. They have a hard time, but the child explains that Firebreaker was cheating during the Donkey Kong face off from the beginning, and Sandler realizes that he is the true Donkey Kong champion. Why does the boy know this even though he wasn't born during that time? The world may never know, but frankly no one should care. Everyone eventually reaches the top but Q-Bert was left behind and trying to dodge the fire from the oil barrel. The woman tries to help him after some convincing, and then Sandler saves both of them. Should I mention that the hammers somehow break fire? I guess that gives a whole new meaning to "Firebreaker."
Sandler does a final blow to DK, and the video game monsters and the Smurfs are all wiped out and the world is saved!! This includes that chick the loser nerd wants to have sex with and he gets depressed about it. We cut to the White House and here Paul Blart declairs peace between Earth and the alien planet! I don't know how, just go with it. And then suddenly Q-Bert was the chick the whole time! Wait, WHAT? What sense does that make? The answer: none.
So Sandler kisses the girl and the movie finally ends! Well, some terrible looking credits plays, but we don't talk about that. And like usual, the after party happens, although no one was in chat to begin with. What a terrible movie, but did you really expect quality from an Adam Sandler? Especially since the movie was really only to capitalize on gamer's nostalgia with it's forced game references, forced 80's references, forced cameos, forced visuals, and forced everything.
And if you're wondering, Mr. Iwatani gets his hand back at the end.
Shitty Movie Saturdays #42 - A Car's Life and Sonic Underground: Episode 1
Yes, we're kicking it hardcore old school. Mr.LuigiDude? Writing an SMS summary? Holy shit, what is this, 2015? Yep. SONIC UNDERGROOOOOOOUUUUUNNNNNDDDD
We begin at 9:30 PM, an hour and 30 minutes late on a Friday. The (not) loyal SMS viewers had been promised a Friday and Saturday showing, and fuck did they get it.
All 6 of them that is.
At first, the movie was intended to bee Bee Movie. However, Jerry got his wings stuck in a river, sunk, and drowned to death, so that wasn't an option. Sad, I know.
The next best option was A Car's Life, which could easily be found on YouTube. The only catch was that it had text commentary. It was almost like having another SMS watcher (which we need more of seriously like comment subscribe watch listen fuck please).
A Car's Life is a jumbled mess of badly written dialogue and shitty voice acting, paired with a bad plot and terrible animation. They pick the same music tracks, too, so that doesn't help. There's nothing good about it. The pink car is supposed to be the teenage girl who's loud YEEEEEAAAHHHHH!!! Then there's the father, who really is the only somewhat likeable character of the group. Down to earth ass boi, I fuckin like it. The main character, I forgot his name because I really don't give half the shit the people who made this movie do (which is a small amount of shit), is like this impressionable little rebelious kid. Apparently. He gets pushed into peer pressure from this jeep grand caravan or some shit.
But do I care? No. I do, however, care about EEEEEAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH.
Next up is SOOOOONIIICCC UNDERGRRRROOOOOOOOOOOUUUUND, which was not as shit as A Car's Life, but still just bad overall. The animation is jumpy and bad, the music choices are bleh, the random triple performances are badly timed and terrible, Sonic's singing voice is actual cancer, it's just all bad. EXCEPT FOR THE THEME SONG AND THE FACT THAT JALEEL WHITE STILL VOICES SONIC. THAT SHIT IS TEN OUTTA TEN. NOW GIMME DAT FUCKIN THEME SONG
THEY SEEK THEIR MOTHER
MM HEH SIN DOO
AND DEH DOO DIIIII
Shitty Movie Saturdays #43 - Sonic Underground Episodes 2 - 7
On their mission to watch all 40 episodes of Sonic Underground, a show with bad animation, corny jokes, and has Jaleel White, A.K.A. Steve Urkel, voice three of the main characters, the SMS movie watchers press on to episodes 2 - 7.
After a couple of weeks without an SMS because of people not showing the fuck up, LuigiDude decides that the plan from October 15th on is to set up a highlighted thread announcing the SMS on the given day. Then more people are made aware of it and join.
(Mr.RockBot's idea btw for the highlighted thread so shoutout to my neighba in brooklyn)
When the second episode of Sonic Underground was playing there was over 20 people in the SMS, a feat that no SMS had achieved in months.
On to the SU episodes, they were pure shit, as expected.
The musical sequences seemed like they were thrown in just because. Sometimes it made sense, like when they were learning to use their medallions. The others were just fucking random, like the one where the voices sound nothing like Urkel, or the "DOWN BY THE BAYOU" one.
Moving on to the voice acting. There's this wolf that sounds like the chameleon from Tuff Puppy, there's Grounder from The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog voicing Robotnik for some reason (Sonic alwayd calls him Robuttnik), etc. Speaking of TAoStH, where the FUCK is Tails? Apparently Tails isn't in the series at all, which is fucking mind blowing considering Knuckles is in it (albeit his first appearance is episode 16). I get that it's supposed to be an alternate universe, but if Knux is in it, you gotta have Tails.
The way Monic/Trevor talks is really excrutiating. He's supposed to be the SUPER DUPER TUBULAR RADICAL WHOOOOOAAAAA DUDE of the trio, but Sonic alreafy is that... So why go fucking overkill on that? You already have a semi annoying surfer sounding character, why add in another one? It's just fucking stupid.
So the whole plotline of these beginning episodes is everybody's getting arrested by Robuttnik's goons, and the FREEDOM FIGHT are looking for their mom, even though it's heavily implied that she is dead.
They keep seeing these... Mirages? I don't really know what to call them, but the three Sonic fuckers (Sonic, his sister Sonia, and his RADICAL brother Monic - his nickname I think I don't fucking know - also known as Trevor) keep seeing their mother in dream-like sequences. It's so fucking weird. They go "MOTHER!" and she just disappears. Like bitch, where you goin?
The dialogue is also really shit.
"I super goofed up"
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHOHOHO!!!" (multiple times)
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
The only good part about these episodes? THE FUCKING THEME SONG.
HIT IT JERRY SEINFELD
SONIC UNDERGROUND! (guitar bonk)
Next week we'll be taking a break from Sonic Underground and drifting into spooky territory!
Movies That SMS Have Watched
- The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl (SMS #1 - Finished)
- Foodfight! (SMS #2 - Finished)
- The Hannah Montana Movie and Birdemic (SMS #3 - Finished)
- Shrek the Third (SMS #4 - Finished, Wild Card Week)
- The Super Mario Brothers Movie and The Super Mario Bros Anime (English Dub) (SMS #5 - Finished) (SMS Double Feature)
- High School Musical 2 (SMS #6 - Finished)
- Birdemic 2 (SMS #7 - Finished, Baby Geniuses and Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer were cancelled)
- The Room (SMS #8 - Finished)
- Ratatoing (SMS #9 - Finished)
- The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 (SMS #10 - Finished, Shark Tale was cancelled)
- Sharknado (SMS #11 - Finished, Batman and Robin was cancelled)
- Sharknado 2 (SMS #12 - Finished)
- Cars 2 (SMS #13 - Finished, The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure was canceled)
- Manos: The Hands of Fate (SMS #14 - Finished, Troll 2 was cancelled.)
- Dragon Ball Evolution (SMS #15 - Finished)
- The Little Panda Fighter (SMS #16 - Finished)
- Plan 9 From Outer Space (SMS #17 - Finished)
- Jurassic Shark (SMS #18 - Finished)
- What's Up: Balloon to the Rescue and Cool Cat Saves The Kids! (SMS #19 - Finished) (SMS Double Feature)
- Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (SMS #20 - Finished)
- Star Wars Holiday Special (SMS #21 - Finished, SMS Christmas celebration)
- The Frog Prince, The Last Airbender AND Mortal Kombat: The Legend Begins (SMS #22 - Finished, the New Years SMS celebration.) (SMS Triple Feature)
- Ben & Arthur (SMS #23 - Shitty Movie Fridays Special. Freddy Got Fingered was cancelled.)
- Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa AND Monster High: Scaris City of Frights (SMS #24 - Finished) (SMS Double Feature)
- Zaat (SMS #25 - Finished)
- Doogal (SMS #26 - Finished)
- A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner! (SMS #27 - Finished)
- Fred: The Show Marathon (SMS #28 - Finished, first on CyTube)
- Joshua and the Promised Land (SMS #29 - Finished)
- Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (SMS #30 - Finished - HANG UP THAT NOOSE HOORAY FOR SUICIDE!)
- A Talking Cat?!? and Gayn***ers from Outer Space (SMS #31 - Finished) (SMS Double Feature)
- The Flintstones (1994) (SMS #32 - Finished)
- Gayn***ers from Outer Space re-air, Nickelodeon Marathon (Victorious, Season 10 Fairly Odd Parents, etc.), Fairly Odd Summer (SMS #33 - Finished) ("Fuck Off, Luigi!" Special - Celebrating his resignation from LMR) (SMS Triple Feature)
- Fred The Movie 3: Camp Fred (SMS #34 - Finished, The Amazing Bulk was canceled.)
- G Force (SMS #35 - Finished)
- Titanic: The Legend Goes On... (SMS #36 - Finished, Glitter was cancelled.)
- Ivan The Incredible (SMS #37 - Finished)
- Heil Honey, I'm Home!, Bubsy, Groovenians and Battletoads (SMS #38 - Totally Geekomatically finished, dude!)
- Grumpy Cat's WORST Christmas and Game Shakers (SMS #39 - Finished.)
- Pixels (SMS #40 - Finished.)
- The Nutshack Marathon (SMS #41 - Finished.)
- A Car's Life and Sonic Underground: Episode 1 (SMS #42 - Finished)
- Sonic Underground: Episodes 2 - 7 (SMS #43 - Finished)
- Aliens VS. Avatars (SMS #44 - Spooky Shitty Movie Saturday #1/3, Finished)
- The Beast of Yucca Flats (SMS #45 - Spooky Shitty Movie Saturday #2/3, Finished)
- It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (SMS #46 - Spooky Shitty Movie Saturday #3/3, Finished)
- Drake and Josh Marathon (SMS #47 - Finished)
- The Nutshack: 2 Part Special + Last Episode (SMS #48 - Finished)
- Santa With Muscles (SMS #49 - Finished)
- To Be Announced (SMS #50! - Coming the day of Christmas Eve)
The SMS Movie Watchers
- Mr. LuigiDude - The Sarcastic One (The Host)
- Sakurai's Cat - The Annoying one
- Pichuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu - The Quoter
- 15KnucklesLover/Michael - The SAO Ranter One
- Meal - The One Who Almost Never Attends
- Sakuraichu - The Jojo fan
- Grimace - The Purple Penis Man
- Luiginator4000 - The guy who used to link a lot of Wario Land commercials, but doesn't anymore because everyone gets annoyed by it. Obey Wario, kids.
- IRonnoc5 - The "fashionably" late one who posts Daffy Duck cartoons and yells a lot.
- Fred - The asshole
- SilverTotodile/ Totodile / Tatadole: The one who knocks
- RadminRawr - The overeactor
- Pendus123 - The one who has to pee during the Final Action Sequence.
- Darkwing Duckness - The retired critic who switches his tabs to somewhere else.
- EverybodyKnowsItsJMike - That one dumbass that can almost never attend
- RockBot - The racist one.
- Dubbaking - The one who just sits around watching the movie and accomplishing nothing.
- Trickster Constantine - The gay one.
- IceColdRapper - The guy who does jack shit.
- Phinerxen - That guy that does stuff
- NGL - Some douchebag that always misses SMS because of IRL shit.
- Noir-Ness - The loud guy who points out obvious things and always comes to the before/after parties.
- Querpt - The one who is actually a combination of everyone on this list except Old Memes because fuck you.
- Cameron (Miiverse) - The guy who makes stupid-ass typos during the movie and the videos.
- Old Memes - the only man in the plan in the room that's not an uncultured swine
- PSI Seven - The one who stays for anything that isn't cringe inducing.
- BlazingSword101/ShadowDragon - The who adds a bunch of YTPs into the playlist.
- FreezeBlade1220 - The one who adds SiIvaGunner rips in the playlist and memes the fuck out of any meme-y thing in the movie.
- JDCabrera (José Daniel) - He always tries to make spin off of SMS. In the actual event, he usually gets an attack of hype and adds some videos hated by the others while making a lot of trash post.