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Lard Cow
Q8dja7b5ta6y normal face
His gay mii
NNID Lard_pls
Age 17
Joined February 25, 2014
Community Panama Club
Followers Like 6 or 7
System(s) owned SO N3ds 3DS (permabanned)

SO Wiiu Wii U (brothers)

Birthday October 21
Alts Lard_of_ADD (lARD cOW)

David_Bowies_Son (troll account)

Lard Cow (NNID: Lard_pls), formerly known as LoЯd Caшa, is a semi-popular-ish Miiverse user who formerly posted in the New Super Luigi U Community and Panama Club, and is now a mod in the Banama Club. He is permanently banned on the 3DS and has 2 other permabanned accounts. He is most well known for his great beauty. He is the former caretaker of the Arc Style: Solitaire Community. He was crowned Miiverse Prom Princess on November 2, 2015. He also has a YouTube channel, CowsAreCanadian.

Miiverse Origins: The Rise of Cow

In the time before time, 2013 to be exact, a 13 year old boy named Sasha (yes, that's his name) became aware of Miiverse through his brother. For a while he considered it stupid, but eventually tried it out. Not having an account of his own, he would occasionally post to the Smash Community from his brothers account. On February 25 2014, he created his 3DS account Sasha (Guy_with_ADD) and switched to the YouTube Community because he thought he would get banned for posting off topic in the Smash Community. After a run in with a Giga Gamby clone a few days later, he changed his name to Czar Caшa. He began posting Communist themed troll posts in the YouTube Community, and was banned later that day. Off to a great start.

The YouTube Community: Trash, Trash and More Trash

Caшa's days in the trashy YTC were filled with posts about The Beatles and other classic rock bands, and later hard rock and metal bands like Guns N' Roses (his fav) and Breaking Benjamin. During his time here he met future Smasher AceChaos. He later got all depressed and edgy and changed his mii to look darker. He also changed his name to Lord Caшa, because he learned copying Tsarist Russia was dumb. In November of that year his 3DS got permabanned. He proceeded to make his LoЯd Caшa account on his brothers Wii U.

The Wii Fit U Community: Attack of the Memes

During the first Miiverse Prom, he became aware that the Smashers had ended up in the Wii Fit U Community. He occasionally posted there, but generally stayed in the YTC. Within the next 4 months the trashy posts in the YTC caused Caшa to reach a breaking point, and on April 9 2015, he defected to the Wii Fit U Community, and unlike most other YTCers who posted there, he was accepted with open arms.

Caшa began to acclimate to the Smasher environment, as can be seen in his posts during this time, as his music posts became less common and he became consumed by shitposts. His dwindling music posts remained in the YTC, him making his last YTC music post on July 29, 2015. He posted his magnum opus on this account on May 9 2015, when he posted "Inkling X Inkay X Blooper X Squidward" in this post , in which the comments included heavily detailed tentacle porn, amassing almost 900 comments, which resulted in two back to back bans, the second being a permaban. After a joke made by AceChaos, he converted his alt account to Lard Cow, which was later strangely deleted. After creating another Lard Cow account with a better mii, he began posting what he considers his finest work. He was generally unaffected by the Genocide Update, and remained in the WFUC until the redesign struck.

The Miiverse Redesign and New Super Luigi U Community/Wii Fit U 2: Electric Boogaloo

On July 29 2015, after making one final post, the redesign struck, confusing and angering Lard. He began to contemplate quitting Miiverse, before another user alerted him that the Legend of Zelda Series Community was unaffected. He traveled there with the rest of the Smashers and helped erect a new Hotel Bigley. He predicted a new Smasher golden age, but then some of the YTC arrived, much to Lards distaste. Luckily, the next day the Smashers moved to the New Super Luigi U Community, and Lard soon followed. He began adjusting to the change, having to begin using his former main (which was abandoned after the Genocide Update) to increase his post count.

Panama Club and the Panama Skype Group

After about a week absence from Miiverse, Lard heard that the Smashers moved to the Panama Club. He then began to post there, but then Observer revealed the communities location. The entire community panicked, and Lard and a few other users created the Panama Skype Group, with around 12 other users. This group grew to around 25 users at its peak, but due to internal conflict it fell apart by autumn. While spending time in the skype group, Lard also continued to post in the Panama Club. He wasn't too common of a poster there, and took many breaks. Every time he returned there was drama happening, and one fateful day he came back, and when he saw drama, forced a Space Jam meme on the community, drowning the drama in spam. After that, he took a break from the internet for about two months.

Banama Club and Present Day

30rcxk9g08ub9 normal face

His alt's horrifying mii

After his return to the internet around June, Lard returned to miiverse to find Panama almost empty. After consulting his Skype friends, he learned of Banama's existence, and joined immediately. Over the summer, he used Banama rather frequently, but dropped in the fall. After his return in late October, he began to use the community more again, and joined the Banama Discord in December. After a spot opened in February, he ran for moderator, and won. Currently, Lard can be found in Banama or on Discord.

Personality

Lard Cow is tries to get along with most people. He enjoys rock, metal, and j-pop. He is a fuckin weeb. He also hates this article because he wrote it back when he was really self centered and annoying and had to make heavy edits but was too lazy to fix it all.

Quotes

  • "Ztrxcgjjhg" -Lard Cow to his cousin
  • "I want Dude Looks Like a Lady played at my funeral" -Lard Cow on acceptance of his eventual demise
  • "lard cow is hawt gril confirm" -AceChaos on Lard Cow
  • "On the second day, God said 'let there be memes'" -Lard Cow reading religious scripture
  • "Sir, you can't assimilate here" -Lard Cow's warning
  • "Super Smash Mouth" -Lard Cow on the Smash Ballot
  • "URRRR" -Lard Cow reading a license plate
  • "I never should have stuck it in this bottle, now I can't get it out." -Lard Cow on getting it stuck
  • "I approve immensely" -Lard Cow on anything he really likes
  • "Drowning is fun" -Lard Cow on fun activities
  • "I live in a Lard house with my Lard wife and Lard kids" -Lard Cow on his personal life
  • "Lard Cow body pillow" -Lard Cow on his merchandise

Trivia

  • He is the Lardiest Cow
  • He originally thought Miiverse was stupid before he joined, refusing to use it despite his brothers insistence. During his YTC days he loved it. He now thinks it's bad but has a nice sense of community.
  • He sells cleaning products as a tribute to Billy Mays
  • His theme song is "The Power of Lard" by Lard, which you can listen to here
  • His Miiverse crush is shower gel
  • He can sense spookiness
  • His waifu is Medli from Wind Waker *insert duck noise*
  • He once ate an omelette for AceChaos due to Ace's bad internet (the video of which can be found on Lard's YouTube channel)
  • He was the one who thought of the idea of using alts to bypass the 30 post/comment rule, which was popularized by Marx-ling
  • His brother's Miiverse account is Voip, also a Smasher, although he uses Miiverse much less frequently
  • He is Princess of the Miiverse Prom

Gallery

A collection of Lard Cow's beautiful art.

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